I'm Still Here

About the Artwork

In December of 2024, I lost the love of my life, my partner, Jeffrey to colon cancer. It happened so quickly; within a little over a month after being diagnosed, he was gone. In the very moment that I watched him take his last breath, holding his hand in mine, I felt a part of me die with him. My life is forever changed in the worst kind of way. As these first few months passed, I’ve tried to wake up every day, I’ve sought out comfort from close friends and family, I’ve been seeing a grief counselor; all the things that are supposed to help. I’ve tried to find my way back to art and slowly I am once again getting a sense of peace through my work. In some ways I know I still haven’t fully accepted that Jeff has passed on.

Soon after Jeff passed, I went into a really dark place. I lost my faith that his soul was somewhere safe, I couldn’t feel him anymore and I started to question what the purpose of a human life is altogether. At that point I had a strong pull to see a medium (which I have never experienced before), and so I reached out to someone who was recommended to me. She helped me so much more than I could have hoped for. She was kind, genuine, and I truly believe she has a gift to connect to the other side. Jeff was there with us for most of the hour, and for the first time since he had passed, I felt that he is okay, he is safe, and he is in a loving place. I felt his soul again.

One thing that stuck with me that the medium had said more then once, is that I wanted so badly to be surrounded by bluebirds, but I am surrounded by blackbirds right now, and that is okay. It’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to be sad and let the sadness take you over when it needs to. Accepting that grief will forever be a part of you and letting yourself feel it is a way of healing. Soon after I began seeing more signs of Jeff around me, hearing signs, feeling him near me, and it has provided a tremendous comfort. I now embrace the sight of blackbirds, and yes, they sure are all around me. In particular, there are two large blackbirds (they look like Ravens, but I’m not quite sure) that I pass by every time I go on my beach walk. They remind me that Jeff is near and watching over me.

For anyone who has lost someone as close to them as my Jeffrey is to me, I hope that sharing my story with you helps you to know that you are not alone, and it is okay if you are surrounded by blackbirds from time to time.

Specifications for Prints

• Printed on professional textured Fine Art Giclée Somerset Velvet Paper

• Printed with an added, one-inch white border

• Printed with non-toxic, professional Archival Inks

• Delivered to your door, supplied unframed